yea, more heather

Day Five... why am I counting days?

I'm falling in love, that's why. She lives so far away, and I miss her.

I wish Alex would hurry her ditzy self up and add me, so I can possibly get ahold of Heather. Yes, I do have her number, but since I'm such a chicken shit, I cant call her. I just cant.
But I cant breathe... I cant think... I dont want to eat... I want to sit here and wait till I can talk to her, till I can see her again.

Is this what love is like? If it is, then I've never fallen... not once. Or maybe it's just because I've always fallen for the opposite sex. Now that I've actually fallen for a girl, after so long of looking, maybe this is what it's like. Maybe that's why I've always felt so detatched when I talked about boys with my friends...

And yes, it's official. I've Fallen. I admit it. I cant deny it. Ta freaking Da!

Hunger has overwhelmed me but I keep ignoring it. I'm sleep deprived but there's no guarentee that I'll dream of her, so I refuse myself more sleep. I just sit here and wait. Sounds pathetic. Well then, I'm the epitome of pathetic.

Now if by chance anyone outside of my one faithful reader that I know about, knows who I'm talking about, and IF by a long shot Heather actually comes here and reads this: GET ME IN CONTACT WITH THAT GIRL. PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU. PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!

She gives me the courage to face the world, the world that tells me that who I am is wrong. I want to stand against that world, with her by my side, forcing them to see that I'm a person too. I want to see gay marriage passed, because somehow I know that in the future I'm going to marry a girl damn it and I want to be able to do that.

Yes, I love the boyfriend. But our paths are turning different ways very soon. He's going to leave, and we all know long distance relationships dont work. But then why am I wishing so hard that I can get ahold of her. A girl that lives so far away? Why would I let myself fall for someone so impossible? Perhaps it's because I can deny myself everything on this earth, except for love. I cannot ignore it, I cannot fight it. I love who I love and I cannot change it. I never have been able to, and never will I in the future.

Damn it. I miss her.