Longing

Sitting here, stuffing my face with Teddy Grahams, listening to that song. I believe I'm driving myself crazy. I miss her terribly. I want to see her. And everytime I think about it, I cant breathe. A week and a half. A week and a half till I can see her.

Yesterday was a full day, up in my room, watching America's Next Top Model, and thinking about nothing else but her. An entire day of just her. I didnt plan it, it just happened. I didnt try to do anything else, just her. Hours and hours up in my room. Then hours spent laying in bed attempting to sleep, but not succeeding because I cant stop thinking about her and my cats tearing my room apart. But it was worth it. Just laying there for so long, it was nice.
There's this thing I do, when it's completely dark. I can feel her next to me, and if I try hard enough, I can see her. And for a while, I'm content.

Day dreams, memories, and phone calls. That's what I have now. A time line, leading to that day. But even though it's crazy, this missing, this longing, I wouldnt want it to be gone. I love doing it, because I know she loves me. That's all that matters.
The way she is with me... it's amazing. She calls me all the time, she says the sweetest things. She loves the way I love. And I love it.


In other news:::
My cats are driving me bonkers. Last night, for the two hours that I couldnt sleep, they were running around in my room, knocking over whatever they could get their paws on. They run around chasing eachother and jump on the bed, run across it, jump off and do the whole thing over and over again till I'm so mad that there's no way I'll be able to sleep. Jacquolynne got up on my table with all my make up stuffs on it and got one of my necklaces down and was chewing on it. Then this morning, I was woken up by almost the exact same sinario. And I was pissed.


I love those little demons...