Melancholy

It's been a... goodbad day.

It's been a wonderful day because I spent most of my time on the phone.

But it's been on of the worst ones I've had in a while, as well.
My party's been postponed... which was the first blow. That stung, because I was so looking forward to seeing her this weekend. And then it was just gone, and the wanting came back twice as bad as I remembered it.
Then I found out why it's been postponed... and that was the second blow. Mom has to undergo radiation. She has a tumor.

All day has been a battle over what's bothering me worse, and guilt when I feel very upset about the party. I'm scared shitless. And I'm missing Heather like mad. So much was put on this weekend. So much excitement. Then I feel guilty, because I shouldnt be upset about it, considering the circumstances. Then I tell myself that it's alright to feel upset about it... because I miss her terribly.

But I can wait longer. Just as long as I can see her again.