Otherwise known as an orgy?!

I am going to die.
I am a mess.

She's in my mind, taking my concentration away from anything and everything I'm doing. I think about kissing her. I think about holding. I think about being with her. I think so hard that I can feel my lips on hers, I can feel her in my arms. Proving once again that she's a part of me.Such a huge part of me. I miss her so much. I need to be with her.

I cried so hard last night. Till I was so exausted that I didnt even remember falling asleep till I was woken up by my phone ringing. I was so glad she called. I miss her so...

To lay beside you would be a dream come true. I dont think I'd believe it was you. My days are dreamlands. And I dont even know if you truely exist. Are you just my imagination, dreaming up phone conversations and hope that's eating me alive? Or could you really be real? An amazing angel that's got my heart? So many questions and so few answers. Knowing only that I feel spectacular apart from the missing, the needing, that's crawling just under my skin, simulating the skin crawling itch associated with withdrawal.

I am a mess.
Why in the HELL do we have to be so far away?
All I do is pace. And sing. And sit and cry. Too much, almost. Too much, almost, to deal with. But not too much, not too much to give up. No giving up. I couldnt ever. I'd wait forever, if it meant she was mine and I, in turn, was hers. All good things are worth waiting for. She's spectacular. Perhaps that means I have to wait longer. It doesnt matter. I'll get to her sometime. And that's when the world will implode and Utopia will break into my world and completely turn me upside down.



Soon, perhaps. Later, perhaps. But it will happen.