It's nearly nine...

On a Saturday morning when I was up till almost one in the morning.
It's a sin to be lucid right now.
But mom locked herself out, and I had to let her in.

Exaustion has taken over. This school thing isnt working for me. I'm physically exhausted because of getting up at six and carrying around a fifty pound backpack on my back all day long. Mentally exhausted from the work and the having to deal with different things at school. And we all know why I'm emotionally exhausted.
So much crying last night that I finally just passed out. I dont remember falling asleep.
Just waking up at six thirty, with my radio still on. I went back to lovely sleep, and dreampt of very odd things.

Spiders would get into vehicles, and posseses them, making those vehicles bigger replicas of them and they would go around killing people. I was at Megan's house, and I was looking out the window, and there was a side driving jeep that I thought was possessed. I got down below the window so it wouldnt see me. But it came over to the open garage that was open and it was a guy to rescue us. I went over to the stairs and yelled up to the people upstairs. I dont know who the two other girls were, but Heather was there. We got into the jeep and she was crying. The jeep didnt have a top and it was raining. I was holding her, and wiping the rain and tears off of her face, while she was talking to me. *I was unconcious, but I missed her so much then...*
The dream eventually ends in a house somewhere, gathering our things and going somewhere. Then I woke up, by my phone ringing, mom letting me know she needs to get in.

Last night was crazy. I sang for two straight hours and I have barely any voice now. But I felt better, because there was lots of stress coming out with every note. But the better wore off when I was in bed, thinking of her. Then Far Away came on, and I lost it. Crying and crying. Ten straight minutes of gasping for air crying.

Yesterday, Far Away was on Channel One at school. My ex was wearing the AFI shirt that was the start of Heather and I. Everytime I saw it, my heart just completely dropped and I had to fight with everything I had not to completely break down in the middle of the hall way.

Anyone know where I left my mind? I seem to have lost it, again...