*I got to talk to ERRO!!*
* my brother got laid off of work, which means a lot of money is gone, like 35o.oo a week
*moms being a bitch, figuratively not literally lol
*nobody seems to be hiring at this time, except for restuarants and I'm deathly afraid to work there.
*my phone has been disconnected
*my dish is getting disconnected
*i only got an hour of sleep
I got all of that information in about an hour worth of time. Everything just seems to be moving to fast. Everything seems to be falling so fast. I'm getting into reality and I really don't like it. I don't want to go out into the real world and have to worry about all this stuff. It seems to be to great and to much pressure, but then again I want...no...I HAVE...to get out of my house in order to keep my sanity a little bit above crazy. It seems like just yesterday...the only I thing I thought about was if what I am doing was going to make my parents get into an argument, or should I or should I not drink the pool water and eat yellow snow. LOL. Well, I never really thought about that because I knew I shouldn't do it, but you get the hint, don't you? Well, I will keep going because well I have nothing better to do except for sleep and I can't exactly sleep right now because I don't feel the need to.
Seems like just yesterday...when I was told not to worry about getting a job because I'm to young, and now I'm being pressured by myself and others to get a job because I feel like I should be supporting my family because my mom can't.
Seems like just yesterday...when my mom was picking out my clothes for me and making me look hidious, in a lime green shirt that had something red on it and some red shorts that were like skin tight. Stuff that they use to wear back when my mom was growing up.
Seems like just yesterday...when I wasn't told about our finanical situation but just told that I have no need to think about that because I was to young yet to understand what the hell they were talking about. It seems like when I want to help out, I ccouldn't because theres always something pulling me back. Why is that?
Seems like just yesterday...I wanted to go to school and now I hate school with everything I have to hate. To me school seems like a pointless waste of time. And yes I want to go to college but I don't want to learn about something that I really couldn't careless about
Seems like just yesterday...I wasn't worried about what people thought of me, what I acted like, what I looked like, and how my hair looked. This sucks for me even though I don't really care what people think about me but then again I do. I think everybody thinks, atleast sometimes, about what somebody else might think if they put their hair on a certain side, what color of shirt they wore, how big there boobs are, how small there penis is, what my nails look like, and how old my shoes are. Why do people judge people on they way they act, sexual preference, or what they look like. How come American people and America "Land of the Great" is so judgemental?
Seems like just yesterday...I was loving my life, I never wanted it to end. I was just happy and content with playing in the backyard, on the tire swing, in the park, or where ever my heart lead me ot be. Why do people get so negative as there life gets shorter? Is it because of all the pressure we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis? Or is it because everything just seems to be crashing down faster and faster each and everyday? Its like our life is getting shorter and we are getting more hateful. Shouldn't we try to have fun with everything we do, even if that means paying the bills, or going to Wal-Mart to get some food?
I think it is funny how "adults" seem to think that "teens" have nothing to worry about. Teens tend to think that everything is horrible, though. When one little thing comes crashing down, we feel dead, right? I know I do and that is almost one of my worst habits. Do we really have that much to worry about though? We wake up, go to school, go home, eat, shit, watch t.v. or get on the computer, and sleep. And some of us have jobs. We usually don't have to think what you are going to do once you get home. But we do have to worry about things, like how much homework we are going to have, what are we doing over the weekend, why all of a sudden your parentals are mad at you, if I take this drug what will it do to me, if I go over to this persons house will they make me smoke pot with them, why is your teacher being a bitch to you when you've done nothing but sit there and be quiet, and how come we are just learning about this stuff now. But if you think about what "adults" have to worry about:work, money, children, bills, friends, grades from children, is my child a pot head, does my child do drugs, is he or she having sex, why is he or she having a bad day, how much do I owe the school again, I'm not feeling well...how many days have I taken off of work, why is my child acting different all of a sudden, does my child smoke cigarettes, what is my child going to be doing over the weekend at the friends house, and if your parents are divorced why isn't the other parent paying the child support. That is 7 to 16 and yes I know that isn't all of the worries in the world but it is a majority. I know that teens think they have the same worries if not more because this all comes down on us at once. Its like a lightening bolt hitting a tree, you never know which tree it is going to strike until its already been hit and gone away. SO...I guess you could call it a hit-and-run accident.
*My worries*
school
friends
girlfriend
bills
siblings
homework
grades
poverty level I am in
getting fat
family relationships
why my mom was being a bitch
why my brother got laid off
how come I can't seem to get a job anywhere.
doing the newspapers
are we going to have enough gas for the weekend
why are we so poor and is there anything I can do to help
and last but not least how come I worry about so much stuff
Sorry I know this is long and I congrat you if you got this far. I just havent been in the peachest of moods today. And again I am horribly sorry for how long it was but I really needed to get somethings out and well lets just say that this has helped a lot and now I can FINALLY go to bed lol. Thanks, love you
~Ashley~
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