Why?

The night before last, I did something I probably shouldn't have. Which is fine because it happens. Oh kay, so maybe it's not fine because of my tendency to become very impulsive with it and continue. But this isn't where the worst comes in.
Last night I told Heather. I don't know why I told her when I was making it a point of not telling anyone. Mostly because I knew I was letting so many people down. I don't know why I told her. But I did. And in doing so, hurt her. I wanted to cry and throw things. I hated myself. I still do.
I have something so wonderful and I never fail to fuck it up somehow. Why do I hurt people? Why cant I just leave things be?

No one should know me. I'm not worth it.