They're Complete Opposites, and it works.

There are songs that bring back nearly painful memories of last summer. These songs make me remember so clearly that it takes my breath away, literally. A few select AFI songs really do it, playing out scenes from Des Moines in a panoramic clarity that freezes me in place, grasping air, trying to come back to the present. I cant even imagine what going back there will be like.
Mother's day at grandma's with the family today. I was sitting in the back yard grass, witnessing everyone talking, swearing, yelling, a good time had by all and I couldn't help but wish that Heather was there. I want her to meet my family, sit beside me for dinner with all of them. Laugh and joke and yell with words so vulgar that everyone with kids loathes going in fear of their little ones picking up new adjectives, nouns, and verbs. I want to be free to smile at her and have them smiling back at us. And when we leave, I want the parade of kisses that is tradition to include the both of us, without any awkwardness.
I was saddened, in the bathroom, thinking about how more likely than not, it will never happen. She wont witness the fights and drama and ear-splitting conversations that go on in my grandmother's house at every major holiday when all the family gathers into that tiny, rundown shack. I want her there with me, I want to feel whole in my family. But the cruel reality is that I will be forced to stay in hiding.
But hopefully her family gathers like mine. Hopefully we can go together to hers and be accepted. I want to be a part of hers nearly as bad as I want her to be a part of mine. Even though I know it's more likely to happen for me than for her.

And with that, it's off to bed.