Hooker!
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Letters to Heather- A new Chapter
Heather,
I'm angry. And sad. and upset and depressed and thoroughly drunk.
I'm angry because I'm so sad. Because I gave in and got myself smashed at nine thirty in the morning. I'm angry because under no circumstances am I going to be able to get over this quickly. I'm angry that I'm so in love with you and you wont let me be with you. I'm angry that I wake up every morning, cursing the sunlight and the beautiful day because I honestly dont give a fuck anymore.
I'm sad. Because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
I'm upset because somehow that fits in somewhere. And I'm too god damned lazy to explain why.
I'm depressed because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
and everyone has Deja vu.
No. I'm kidding. I just wrote the same thing.
and I'm thoroughly drunk because I was shooting whiskey this morning. Because I needed to not hate today. But I still do. So it's a lost cause.
The sky outside is too blue and for some reason the tree was just orange. Those colors are you. and I hate it outside.
I just want you to talk to me
want you to stop ignoring me
and I'm tired of punctuation.
For some reason I use the ellipsis too much when I write to you.
You told me you felt like you should be taking it back. We're meant to be together. and you raised my hopes for a while but now it's just back to waiting and hating everything... even though I dont. I still love you. Just like I always will. Even if it ruins me.
This is too much. I should stop. Go paint and shit. I shouldnt write to you when I'm like this.
I love you.
I'm angry. And sad. and upset and depressed and thoroughly drunk.
I'm angry because I'm so sad. Because I gave in and got myself smashed at nine thirty in the morning. I'm angry because under no circumstances am I going to be able to get over this quickly. I'm angry that I'm so in love with you and you wont let me be with you. I'm angry that I wake up every morning, cursing the sunlight and the beautiful day because I honestly dont give a fuck anymore.
I'm sad. Because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
I'm upset because somehow that fits in somewhere. And I'm too god damned lazy to explain why.
I'm depressed because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
and everyone has Deja vu.
No. I'm kidding. I just wrote the same thing.
and I'm thoroughly drunk because I was shooting whiskey this morning. Because I needed to not hate today. But I still do. So it's a lost cause.
The sky outside is too blue and for some reason the tree was just orange. Those colors are you. and I hate it outside.
I just want you to talk to me
want you to stop ignoring me
and I'm tired of punctuation.
For some reason I use the ellipsis too much when I write to you.
You told me you felt like you should be taking it back. We're meant to be together. and you raised my hopes for a while but now it's just back to waiting and hating everything... even though I dont. I still love you. Just like I always will. Even if it ruins me.
This is too much. I should stop. Go paint and shit. I shouldnt write to you when I'm like this.
I love you.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Letters to Heather part whichever
I understand why you go out every night. I know that it's to stay busy so everything isnt so... there. I know the drugs, the alcohol, is to block everything out because that's the only thing you can think of to make it all go away. And I understand why you'd do it.
But at the same time, while I'm sitting here almost GLAD you do it, because at least you're getting some relief, I want you to stop. I want you to come home and talk to me for hours. But I know... I know it hurts to do that because then it's right there, ripping out our insides, shoving it in our faces that this is the only way we can 'be together'. But as much as it hurts, I want it. Because it's one hell of a lot better than sitting in my room everynight debating upon whether or not to call you. Because I know, I KNOW that when I do, you'll be busy and you'll tell me you'll call back and I'll feel terrible because you dont have time for me and I know you're not going to call back. So I lay in my bed for the rest of the night, no being able to MOVE because the sadness is so strong that it hurts to do anything but lay there and cry.
It's the summer time. It feels JUSt like last summer , when I was falling in love with you. When I had my hopes set on so many things. I convinced myself that by that time next year, everything would be alright. Everything would be better. But here we are, and everything's the exact same. And it makes me feel terrible. This keeps me in bed in the morning, laying there attempting to feel nothing while I'm feeling everything. Every little thing... I feel every dust particle floating in the air, gracing my body. I feel every dead skin cell I shed fall onto the dirty sheets I'm laying on. I can feel the emptiness of the bed, my house, all those miles between us and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. So I lay there, no will to do anything.
I want to see you so badly. But I know when I do, it will be blissful every second I'm with you but as soon as you're gone I'll go back to this, and I'll have to wait in uncertainty, not knowing when I'll feel that relief again. No one can make me feel better anymore. No one but you. And you go out every night, searching for that relief. Are you finding it? Oh, if you're not, just please go home, go home and call me. Call me and close your eyes and I'll be right there. I'll cry to know I'm really not, but pretending is the closest I can get right now.
This summertime is ripping me apart from the inside out. I cant eat or sleep. I want to cry and I do. I have to fake that I'm happy. But every minute that passes is harder to get through than the last and I have no idea how much more of this I can take.
Please come home tonight. Please lay by my side and hold me. Tell me that it's going to be alright because I really cant believe it anymore.
But at the same time, while I'm sitting here almost GLAD you do it, because at least you're getting some relief, I want you to stop. I want you to come home and talk to me for hours. But I know... I know it hurts to do that because then it's right there, ripping out our insides, shoving it in our faces that this is the only way we can 'be together'. But as much as it hurts, I want it. Because it's one hell of a lot better than sitting in my room everynight debating upon whether or not to call you. Because I know, I KNOW that when I do, you'll be busy and you'll tell me you'll call back and I'll feel terrible because you dont have time for me and I know you're not going to call back. So I lay in my bed for the rest of the night, no being able to MOVE because the sadness is so strong that it hurts to do anything but lay there and cry.
It's the summer time. It feels JUSt like last summer , when I was falling in love with you. When I had my hopes set on so many things. I convinced myself that by that time next year, everything would be alright. Everything would be better. But here we are, and everything's the exact same. And it makes me feel terrible. This keeps me in bed in the morning, laying there attempting to feel nothing while I'm feeling everything. Every little thing... I feel every dust particle floating in the air, gracing my body. I feel every dead skin cell I shed fall onto the dirty sheets I'm laying on. I can feel the emptiness of the bed, my house, all those miles between us and I know that there is nothing I can do about it. So I lay there, no will to do anything.
I want to see you so badly. But I know when I do, it will be blissful every second I'm with you but as soon as you're gone I'll go back to this, and I'll have to wait in uncertainty, not knowing when I'll feel that relief again. No one can make me feel better anymore. No one but you. And you go out every night, searching for that relief. Are you finding it? Oh, if you're not, just please go home, go home and call me. Call me and close your eyes and I'll be right there. I'll cry to know I'm really not, but pretending is the closest I can get right now.
This summertime is ripping me apart from the inside out. I cant eat or sleep. I want to cry and I do. I have to fake that I'm happy. But every minute that passes is harder to get through than the last and I have no idea how much more of this I can take.
Please come home tonight. Please lay by my side and hold me. Tell me that it's going to be alright because I really cant believe it anymore.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
it's summer time
I can feel it. In the heat outside and the air conditioning inside. It's gnawing at my insides and tearing apart my heart. I cant breathe, I want to cry.
I miss her so much.
I miss her so much.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Drrty mouth
it happens to be 2:19 in the morning. I am not sleeping.
The End, cuntbags.
The End, cuntbags.
love always,
Erro
Erro
Sunday, June 10, 2007
New Template
as you can see, I have changed my template yet again.
I've spent hours and hours trying to find a new one, trying to find someone who would make one for me... It's all come down to this. You dont like it? Deal. I think it's lovely.
No more right now. Too much on my mind, too much to do.
I'll give you something worth your time later.
I've spent hours and hours trying to find a new one, trying to find someone who would make one for me... It's all come down to this. You dont like it? Deal. I think it's lovely.
No more right now. Too much on my mind, too much to do.
I'll give you something worth your time later.
Erro
Friday, June 08, 2007
Ah-mayzing
I've 'come across' a lovely piece of literature. Though that is the biggest understatement of the millennium. It's my favorite as of now, with the ability to be in the runnings for my all time favorite.
Go, read.
perhaps I'll write something with more substance later. If I'm not feeling so intimidated by works so much better than anything I've ever written.
Go, read.
perhaps I'll write something with more substance later. If I'm not feeling so intimidated by works so much better than anything I've ever written.
Erro.
Friday, June 01, 2007
What's the Secret Anyway?
Walking past a familiar pink-clad store with breath-taking, barely clothed models in the window, many of us wonder: What is Victoria's secret? Who's Victoria anyway? I suppose there are many theories but there are two that are my favorite when it comes to the age old question.
Theory One:
Victoria's real name is Victor. And Victor's a horn dog.
Theory Two:
Victoria's a lesbian.
Theory Three:
Victoria's Victoria, but also Victor because she's also a he. Victoria's got a penis.
Now, those are the initial secrets and all can be broken down further into how it all got started with entertaining twists and turns that I'm pretty sure you all can come up with yourself. Because honestly, I'm done with this post. I need a new layout and I'm having one hell of a time finding one. Wish me luck.
Theory One:
Victoria's real name is Victor. And Victor's a horn dog.
Theory Two:
Victoria's a lesbian.
Theory Three:
Victoria's Victoria, but also Victor because she's also a he. Victoria's got a penis.
Now, those are the initial secrets and all can be broken down further into how it all got started with entertaining twists and turns that I'm pretty sure you all can come up with yourself. Because honestly, I'm done with this post. I need a new layout and I'm having one hell of a time finding one. Wish me luck.
ERRO
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