Heather,
I'm angry. And sad. and upset and depressed and thoroughly drunk.
I'm angry because I'm so sad. Because I gave in and got myself smashed at nine thirty in the morning. I'm angry because under no circumstances am I going to be able to get over this quickly. I'm angry that I'm so in love with you and you wont let me be with you. I'm angry that I wake up every morning, cursing the sunlight and the beautiful day because I honestly dont give a fuck anymore.
I'm sad. Because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
I'm upset because somehow that fits in somewhere. And I'm too god damned lazy to explain why.
I'm depressed because you're everything to me and you want to take it away.
and everyone has Deja vu.
No. I'm kidding. I just wrote the same thing.
and I'm thoroughly drunk because I was shooting whiskey this morning. Because I needed to not hate today. But I still do. So it's a lost cause.
The sky outside is too blue and for some reason the tree was just orange. Those colors are you. and I hate it outside.
I just want you to talk to me
want you to stop ignoring me
and I'm tired of punctuation.
For some reason I use the ellipsis too much when I write to you.
You told me you felt like you should be taking it back. We're meant to be together. and you raised my hopes for a while but now it's just back to waiting and hating everything... even though I dont. I still love you. Just like I always will. Even if it ruins me.
This is too much. I should stop. Go paint and shit. I shouldnt write to you when I'm like this.
I love you.
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