Letters To Heather: The Final Entry

My initial plan was to sleep my way through whichever girls would sleep with me, enjoying their company but never getting attached. To keep myself occupied for another long year till my future could begin. But you fell away, calls becoming less frequent, my hopes dwindling to near nothing. My emotions were fried, my heart strings: severed. I had nothing left to give.
And so a harsh realization began to play in front of my eyes. I watched those months, I watched myself all those times I cried; like an old home movie where you cant believe that's you. And I began to feel pain. Pain I never let myself feel when I was with you because I was so determined to make you believe you were perfect for me because that's what I honestly believed.
You let me go, early one morning in September and I thought my world had ended. But my days kept passing and I kept breathing. And slowly I began to let go. Not because I wanted to, but because I had nothing left to hold on with. With letting go, I began to smile again. I went out, I had fun, and I went to sleep at night. I still get angry, I still hurt. I talk out loud the things I'd never tell you or anyone else about what I felt when I was with you, mostly right there at the end. How I felt abandoned. I only mentioned, for the first time, today how much it hurt for you to not be online that first day of school.
It started as something innocent. I couldn't handle anything remotely close to serious. Not after the last time. But after some time, your biggest fear came true.
I wake up in the morning, I go through my day, I come home at night and I don't feel sad. I don't think about you. And as much as I know this is hurting you, I am still going to say it.
You were a chapter of my life. A chapter I wont, I cannot forget. I never forget. It was amazing, terrible, trying, crying, heart breaking, hands shaking, first time, withdrawal, growing, knowing, and above all Love.
I wont forget you. I'll think of you when I pass through that city. When I hear those songs that was the soundtrack to that summer, that fall, that winter, spring, and the summer when it all exploded before my eyes. I'll credit you for the strength I've gained, and for showing me what love can really feel like.
I'll move on, just as I have already, move away from here, make a life I've always dreamed of. Maybe one day I'll see you somewhere, if you ask me if I remember...

I'll tell you you're crazy for even thinking that I wouldn't.