The Living

After my sister's recital last night, I ran into my friend whom I was also there to watch. She enveloped me in a hug and with a shocked expression on her face told me how well I looked. I congratulated her on her wonderful performances (they really were great) and then she was off to find her family that I had seen waiting for her. Her words still ring in my ears: "You look so good!" and I realize that it's because I'm alive. I'm fully and utterly alive. My life is radiating from me, this blood that's changed forever. I feel like everyone can see it, this change, but I know they can't. I know it's just in my head. This visible well-being is from the activity I've been doing, new color staining my cheeks.
But maybe, perhaps, it was because I was a fire when I saw her, a glimpse of this I've partaken in fueling my fast heartbeat and fluttering limbs. I was moving through the crowd looking for my mom and sister, watching him move through the mass just out of my sight.

No idea what I'm doing, but I feel it in my bones and in my blood and I feel alive as a person can be.

Restless, Reckless

I feel like a caged animal. I don't know how long I can take this. I need to get out. I need to go do this thing I am driven to do. I need to do it for a long time and never stop till I pass out and die. Then when I regain consciousness and life, I'll do it some more and maybe, just maybe, then I will be satisfied. But probably not.

Shiiiiiit.